One down - One to go

Today started out as it should. I made Dad's famous S.O.S. Since there are many Christians and young people who read this blog, I won't tell you exactly what that stands for. But it's one of Dad's signature dishes. Breakfast was always his favorite meal.

Mom took everyone to the Jefferson Outreach office and to the thrift store to show them where Dad had given the last 17 years of service. I hung out at the house, had a little nap and then went to buy the paper for the programs we'll use at the funeral.

Tonight was the viewing. The funeral home set aside an hour before the actual viewing time for the family. Jason and I showed up first. We had them lead us back to the chapel where Dad was. They did a nice job. Dad was all decked out in his dress blues holding a little pocket bible he had from the war. I guess I cried really hard for about 5 minutes - that draining, shaking kind of crying that you can only sustain in short bursts.

He was very handsome and looked peaceful and at rest. What a big difference from a few days ago when he was fighting for every breath! Thank God that he went quickly and had no pain at the end. He just stopped breathing and quietly left this world behind.

There were a bunch of flowers from all over the place - mostly from organizations that Mom and Dad work with. They were beautiful. I took a CD with some music I thought he'd like as well as some songs that would speak to us. The one that kinda freaked everyone out was "Zig Zaggety Woop Woop" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Dad loved big band music and that song in particular. When I played it for him, he said "Man, they're really good!" I also had his favorite song - Stardust.

Before everyone came in, Joy presented Mom with a two-part Mizpah charm. One part stays with Mom and will go on her keychain. We put the other in with Dad - draping it over his hand. It reads "The Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another." Mom also put in a copy of "The Purpose Driven Life" bible study. It was the only time Dad had ever done a study with Mom and talked a little about his faith. He never liked to talk about it - he preferred to quietly live it.

There were hundreds of people there. Some were old family friends and some were from the organizations they worked with. There were city councilmen, state representatives and folks from the Texas Silverhaired Legislature. There were people who hadn't seen him in 20 years and others who saw him every day.

Many of them offered up cliched platitudes - "He's in a better place", etc. You know - I didn't mind. They were trying to be nice. It's hard to know what to say. And you know - it's true. That doesn't make it hurt less, but it does help keep us grounded.

After the viewing, we went back to the house and had lasagna. Angie made Mom fresh fruit smoothie because she wasn't feeling up to eating anything solid. Angie's been incredible through this whole thing. She's cooked just about every meal and taken care of Josiah single-handedly. She's a real blessing.

So, I'm here at the office. It's 2:40am. I just got through running all the programs. They are simple but will work OK. As a graphic artist, my inclination is to spend all night desinging something. But it's late and Dad wouldn't care much about how it looked. It says who's going to sing and talk and do whatever. That's all that matters. I also put in the verse from 1 Corinthians about the time when we'll ask "Death where is thy victory?"

It's comforting to know that our God has conquered death and the grave and that one day, we'll see Dad again. I'm thankful for that comfort. I'm also thankful that I had such a good dad.

I heard the message Alec Baldwin left his daughter - cussing her out and calling her names. And earlier today, I was walking into Target and a guy was talking to someone I assumed was his daughter. He was laying it on hard - "I don't owe a da** thing!" Wow. I wanted to stop and talk to the guy. I wanted to tell him what had happened to our family this week and how you can't take back the things you say. I wanted to tell him about Dad and his example. But I just kept walking and prayed for him. You know, people don't change because someone chews them out. And it's impossible to be influenced by a man you've never met.

So Dad - your funeral is later today. I know you don't like the fuss we're making over you, but you really deserve it. You never tooted your own horn - but tomorrow, there will be a whole brass section belting it out. I'll bet you got a heck of a reception in heaven. I hope they fired up the big band for you.

the gang's all here

Today, all of our family and friends from out-of-town began to arrive. There is Dad's family - brothers Ralph and Don and his sister May. There are a few from Mom's family also - her sister June and her brother Ralph and his wife Jane. There's mom's friend Jan Grove from Dallas as well.

Then there are our friends. My wife Angie had a surprise visitor tonight. Jenni Wilson - our friend from Baltimore - was at home tonight when Angie came back. Angie's Mom is coming on Monday from Austin. I've had calls from Chris Ohlemacher and others. People have rallied around us and been great. It kinda makes me sad at how little I've done that for others. Of course, I just had no idea how hard it is. This is my first experience with the death of someone close to me.

It really made me think. I really haven't been great with the whole family thing. I hadn't seen my uncles and aunts for 15 years or more. And I really only see them at funerals. Whereas Dad sent cards and letters and called them occasionally, I haven't done anything. I've never been to a family funeral. And, I've never even met Angie's family.

That's one thing I really hope to change. Family and friends who are like family were what really anchored Dad. I think it's a good lesson.

link to dad's memorial website

The funeral package Mom selected provides an online memorial where we can post pictures of Dad and people can leave comments.

Visit Dad's memorial here

reflections on a life well lived

Since Wednesday morning, we've had a chance to reflect on Dad's life and have been sharing memories as we prepare for the funeral. We've been looking through photos, preparing songs to be sung during the service and coordinating all the details with the funeral home.

We called today to confirm we'd have a real, live bugler at the cemetery - canned music isn't an option for Dad. We also submitted the obituary and the photo that will run with it. It was really long. It will probably cost about $1000. We're running it here and in the Kentucky Post where Dad's family lives.

I went to buy a suit today. Mine is a little - uh - tight. I went to KG Men's Store. I found a suit I liked and was marked for alterations. Then, I found out it wasn't $100 as I thought - but $200 instead - plus $35 for alterations. Oh well! A little tight never hurt nobody, right? So I got a shirt and tie instead.

Deborah (my brother Jim's wife) arrived tonight from Atlanta. Tomorrow the rest of the out-of-town family will arrive. Jan Grove (Mom's friend from Dallas) is getting in at 3pm. June (Mom's sister) will be in at around 5pm. Jane and Ralph (Mom's sister in law and brother) will arrive at 7pm and Ralph, Donnie and May (Dad's two brothers and sister) will be here at 9:30. It's going to be a busy day. My wife Angie will cook for everyone and we'll meet up at my sister Joy's house to eat. Jim and I will be the designated chauffeurs - alternating trips to the airport. Jim will go at 3pm and 7pm - I will go at 5pm and 9:30pm.

There are also friends of us kids that are calling with their support. I've had calls from Chris Ohlemacher, Angie's brother Alan Manderson. Visitors have included Dan Katka (who helped me prepare Dad's dress blues), Charley Houston and Dave Rhodes. My clients from media301 have all been very understanding and flexible. My office also gave me a sympathy card that everyone had signed.

We've also had many visitors. Some are old family friends like the Hawks and Mummies, the Crawfords and the Lenharts. Others are newer friends like Chris Alderete and Doug MacDonald. The phone hasn't stopped ringing.

The most amazing thing has been the people that Dad impacted deeply without even trying. His next door neighbor is quite a character. He's hardly ever home and has a huge pit bull for a pet. When he found out Dad passed away, he came to the door crying and brought a beautiful flowering tree. He said he used to talk to Dad when he came outside to walk his dog. He said he thought Dad was a great guy.

Dad has been on oxygen at the house for about a year. The guy who delivered to him during that time showed up late on Wednesday to pick up the oxygen. As he was leaving, he told Mom that Dad was a great man.

Even a lady Mom had never met from across the street came by. She said that her husband had been sick for many years, so she understood their struggle. Every morning, she would look out the window and see Dad - oxygen tank in tow - coming out, getting in the car and driving off. She said she really admired his determination.

I imagine this is the easy time. We have things to occupy our mind. We're busy. It's when everyone goes back home and Mom is at home alone that it will really sink in. It's when I call over there and don't hear Dad say "hello!". It's when we get together for Father's Day and he's missing - and so many more days for years and years to come.

saying goodbye to my dad

George Frederick Griffin
March 18, 1926 - April 25, 2007

Some of you may know that my Dad - George Griffin - has been battling lung cancer for about a year now. On Wednesday, April 25th at 5:45am, the Lord took Dad home. We had brought him home from the hospital just a little more than 12 hours before. He was surrounded by his family and just quietly stopped breathing.

For those of you who met Dad, I don't need to tell you any of this. For those of you who haven't, I'm sorry you missed him. I don't know of anyone else like him on the planet. We all sat around yesterday trying to think of someone who didn't like him. We couldn't. Everyone who knew him loved and respected him. He was the personification of selflessness, dignity and integrity.

In my 37 years on earth, I can't remember one promise he ever broke. I can't think of any time he cast a stone at another person. He always gave everyone else the benefit of the doubt and demonstrated more Christ-likeness than anyone I've ever met. He was organized and detail-oriented. He was the perfect compliment for Mom. She was out front - being the face and voice, while Dad worked quietly and diligently behind the scenes.

Dad was also very wise. When I was only 9 years old, he realized that computers were going to become very important in our lives. So he invested more than $4000 in a TRS-80 model 4 computer and printer for me to begin to learn how to use them. He went with me to programming class where we learned the Basic programming language. Now, almost 30 years later, I can thank dad for every dollar I've been able to earn - since every job I've ever had directly involves computers.

Dad - if Heaven has a computer, I know you're checking my blog. So, I wanted to tell you that I miss you so much I can barely stand it. As we've been researching for your obituary and looking through photos, I learned things I never knew. You were so much more than just an incredible husband, father and grandfather. So many people depended on your hard work and dedication. I wish I were more like you. I'm really going to try.

I'm sorry the way you had to leave us. I know you weren't ready to leave. We weren't ready to see you go, either. I can't wait to see you again one day. You taught me so much by the way you lived your life. Darwin from Vitas said it best when he said "George is the kind of man I want to grow up to be." That about says it all.

Dan Katka and I fixed up your dress blues today. They look sharp. I know how proud you were of the time you spend in the Air Force. I know you wouldn't like all the fuss we're going to make about you over the next few days, but you more than deserve it. You've spent your life honoring others. Now, we're going to shower you with the honor you deserve.

We finished your obituary tonight. It was hard to write. But here it is:

George Griffin was at home, surrounded by his family when the Lord called him home on April 25, 2007. The son of Lester and Dorothy Griffin from Covington, Kentucky, Griff joined the Air Force at the age of 17 and served as a radio operator during WWII and Korea. He retired as a Chief Master Sergeant with a Meritorious Service Award in 1971.

He then worked for 17 years at USAA where he became the Director of Procedures. For the last 17 years, George tirelessly served the elderly of San Antonio as a volunteer with the Jefferson Outreach for Older People where he acted as the computer operator and lead volunteer – delivering meals and groceries to the frail elderly, taking them for doctor visits and organizing fund raisers and special events.

For his service, he received a special proclamation from the US Senate as Volunteer of the Year, was the United Way Volunteer of the year in 2004, and the AACOG Older American of the Year in 2006, JC Penney Volunteer of the Year and the USAA Golden Eagle Award Winner for outstanding community contribution in volunteerism.

Griff is survived by his loving wife of 57 years Doris - sister May & husband Marty, sister Jeanine & husband Charlie, brother Ralph & wife Mern, brother Don & wife Judy - children Jim and wife Deborah, Joy & husband Joe, John & wife Angie - grandchildren Jason & wife Victoria, Jackie, Janeice, Amanda, Matthew, Emily and Josiah – and great-grandchildren Adrian, Christopher and Benjamin.

Everyone who knew Griff loved him. He was the best man we’ve known. He spent his life loving and serving others. In that spirit, it is George’s wish that in lieu of flowers, you instead send your donation to the Jefferson Outreach for Older People – 201 Meredith, San Antonio 78228.

A viewing will be held at Sunset Northwest on Bandera near Loop 410 on Sunday, April 29, 2007 from 6-8pm. A funeral service is scheduled for Monday, April 30, 2007 at 10am - also at Sunset Northwest. Interment will follow at Ft Sam Houston Memorial Cemetery.

Well Dad, I love you. The world won't be the same without you. Tell your mom and dad hi from me - and Grandma and Grandpa Money, Aunt Peg and everyone else up there. And keep checking the blog. I'll be sure to write every so often.

gun control and the virginia tech massacre

The man to the left is named Tom Plate. He wants all of us to lay our guns down. Read about it here.

I haven't posted about the V Tech shooting. Mostly because it makes me sad. Also because everyone from here to China is covering it. If there was ever a case of ridiculous media overload, this is it.

But when I read this story, it got me thinking about the role of guns in our society and whether or not it's time to move on to a new era.

The first thing I noticed when I read the article was... well... the picture of Mr Plate. I wonder if he approved its use before it was posted. It's... uh... less than flattering.

The premise of his article is that our Constitution that calls for freedom of religion, press, speech AND gun control is crazy. Gun control is out of place there. It's time for us to voluntarily lay down our arms.

I personally do not own a gun - although I have seriously considered it. Last year just before Christmas, a man broke into our house, walked through it - about 5 feet from my wife who had fallen asleep on the couch - and tried to steal my laptop and her purse. Instead, he got an empty laptop bag and a bible book bag - which he discarded in a neighbor's yard. It was the idea that he was 5 feet from my wife that made me serious think about buying a gun. But then I figured with my luck and coordination, I probably would have killed her trying to shoot someone.

As I wrestle to try to take an enlightened and Christian view of the topic, I can't get past some of my conservative underpinnings. For example:

- If we all turn in our guns, criminals will still find a way to purchase them.
- If we all turn in our guns, what will we do if our government turns on us or becomes unable to protect us?
- If we all turn in our guns, will this heal our minds? In the VTech case, it was a mentally ill person that killed people. I'm not big into superstitious readings of scripture, but you really have to consider things like demonic torment when you see someone in that state.

I agree that we need real gun control. But laying down all our guns? This really doesn't happen all that often considering how many guns there are. What about this - let's not sell guns to people who have been in mental hospitals? That sounds like a good place to start.

technical foul on tim duncan? huh?

Today in the third quarter of the Spurs/Mavs game, Tim Duncan was called for a phantom foul. Then, he went to the bench and apparently told Joey Crawford, the ref, what he thought about the call. Result? A QUICK technical foul. Timmy just smiled. Then, on the next trip down the floor, Crawford called a foul on the Spurs that was more than suspicious. Timmy laughed. Crawford IMMEDIATELY ejected him from the game. Huh? Tim Duncan? The poster boy for good behavior?

Well, I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me. After all, it was Joey Crawford. Upon further examination, I think he starred in Adam Sandler's movie "Eight Crazy Nights". And he is REALLY liberal with what he considers to be a technical foul. Just click the audio link below for documented evidence:

more burning questions

john,
Can you lose your salvation?
- Ida Dowdit, Oklahoma City, OK

Until now, yes. Who hasn't dropped their salvation into the couch cushions while napping after church or accidentally knocked it off the counter and into the garbage?

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