what's god doing anyway?

I haven't put anything on the blog about this, but my dad was diagnosed a while back with lung cancer. His 80th birthday is in a few weeks. His heart isn't able to do chemo & radiation together, so they're doing chemo first and then radiation. As I write this, he's getting ready to head in for the first round of chemo.

For anyone who knows Dad, they'll understand how totally unfair this is. He has spent his life taking care of our family and others. He's the model of integrity. He volunteers his time to the Jefferson Outreach that my Mom runs - taking food and groceries to frail elderly shut-ins. He's put in full-time hours for the last 15 years or so. He's the most selfless and solid guy you'll ever meet. It's just not right that he should have to go through such pain.

I was talking with my daughter about it last week. She was having trouble understanding what God was doing - why life could be so unfair. Is there even any God up there?

I confess that I've asked that same question - not once but many times in my life. Yet I can't believe that everything is an accident - this life and these conversations. I started telling her all the cliches I've learned - "everything happens for a reason" or "God won't give us more than we can handle". But I'm not sure where I even stand on those anymore.

As we were crying and wishing things were different, I sensed God's presence - in a different way than I ever had. All of a sudden, I knew what God was doing at that moment. He was crying and wishing it didn't have to happen too.

it is enough...

I am doing the most in-depth study of the Gospel according to John I've even attempted. It's not a full-blown theological study, but much more than I'm used to.

As I was reading the introduction that discussed the authorship and publication time, I read a beautiful quote that has me thinking. St. Jerome (born in 340) tells a great story in his Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians about the John the Evangelist. John lived at Ephasus and eventually got so old and feeble that he had to be carried into church. He said fewer and fewer things as he got older until finally his sermon was always the same single sentence, "Little children, love God and one another."

People eventually got really tired of hearing the same thing over and over. They asked the old man and asked why he kept repeating that simple sentence. John answered, "Because it is the Lord's command and if it only be fulfilled it is enough."

confessions of an emerging guy

A friend of mine sent me a link to this article. It's a must-read for all we "emergent guys".

READ IT HERE

This really puts into words the ideas that I was trying to convey with an earlier post - "Beyond Emerging Church". It does a great job of marking the trail that brings many to question their spirituality.

I would also imagine there are levels beyond what he talks about. I think we view "post-modernism" as the pinnacle because that's where we are. Maybe 20 years from now we'll all look back and wonder how we could have gotten it so wrong. He mentions "Integration" as one level above - where we learn to encourage others no matter what step they're on. I think that's a great place for us to strive toward.

An open letter to Slice of Laodicea editors

To Ingrid Schlueter, Ken Silva, et al...

Peace to you in the name of Christ - our hope and our savior. I am writing this letter to you because I have been effectively "locked out" of any conversation on your website. Please accept my apologies if I offended you in any way that was deserving of that fate.

I live in San Antonio and was raised Southern Baptist. I learned the Word from great teachers such as AW Tozer and J Vernon McGee. I accepted Christ and was baptized when I was 7 years old. When I was 22, my wife and I recommitted our life. For 10 years we were part of a small church that was big into discipleship. We taught children in various aspects (Sunday School, children's church, etc). We also worked with parents to encourage strong families. I led one of the worship groups and we deeply loved our community.

Then a few years ago, we began to question if we were in the place God wanted us. Before I continue, I want to be clear that I have no hard feelings against my old community. I still deeply love and honor them. They are who God made them to be and must be true to His call. Yet, there were stirrings in my heart that they did not share.

For one thing, I was convicted that God was calling me to be the priest of my family. My wife and I spent so much time on "church" activities, we had no energy or focus for our own children.

Secondly, God began to convict me of my selfishness and greed. I realized that I never did anything for those who couldn't do something good in return. In short, I had forgotten "the least of these". Widows, oprhans, poor people and the un-godly generally don't come to church - and if they do, they have a whole lot of messy problems to deal with. I much preferred people who agreed with me and looked like me and didn't require much work.

Third, as I had become a part of the "leadership" more and more, I began to realize how much time and energy was going to furthering the "organization". I wanted our church to be a success. I never thought of the idea of helping OTHER churches grow or of helping people find a community that would best meet them where they are.

There were other reasons, but you get the picture. I didn't feel "in step" with the modern church. I began to consider other voices. I began to read Dan Kimball and and Brian McLaren and understand that I was not the only person in this boat. I even met with a group of "emerging" types a couple of times. It's not that I totally agree with anything these guys think - they were just talking about the same

After a couple of years praying and wrestling through these issues, we have begun meeting with a small group in our homes. We are discipling our children and looking for ways to become more involved with non-Christians - to take the message to them through self-sacrifice and meeting their needs. We're studying the Bible with a hunger and fearlessness that I've never experienced. Our love and awe of God is growing.

You guys are very hard on "emergent" types, yet you don't seem to want to hear our stories. You talk ABOUT us, but not WITH us. I posted a personal message on the site to both Ingrid and Ken asking if you had gone to McLaren or any other leader within the movement to let them know your concerns, but my post never made it to the site (like most others I tried). I left several posts, but was literally ignored. Even if you're not going to post a message, doesn't it deserve some response - a personal email, etc?

I understand your desire for purity and holiness, but what about unity? Why do you divide with and demonize anyone that disagrees with you? It's our belief in the Lord Jesus - the Son of the Living God that joins us - that makes us part of the same mystical Body. Is the way we worship or our understanding of specific scriptures really more important than that? And if you're concerned that we're apostate or wrong or flaky, then why are you content to just sit and talk with each other ABOUT us? Why not talk WITH us?

Matthew 5:8 reminds us that we are to be peacemakers. Christ also taught us that we should esteem others more highly than ourselves. We know that God gives grace to the humble. I'm not sensing these traists as I read Slice. Instead, the attitude is often seems to be combative and judgmental.

As members of the Church, may we work to be in unity. Let's not divide over secondary doctrines and personal preferences. Where we perceive error, let's address it in love. But this only works if we are willing to have a conversation with the people we disagree with.


thank you,
john

right-wing politics

As a believer, I'm finding it hard to support any politicians at all. Republicans want to protect the lives of the unborn, but are pretty much idiots on every other social issue. Democrats aren't any better - they rail against eating chicken or wearing leather, but don't have any problems getting rid of anyone who's inconvenient from our society; unwanted babies, the sick, the elderly. And don't even get me started about the war, the rich getting richer or American arrogance!

I suggest that we believers band together and call for the impeachment of George Bush and install a candidate that can really make a difference:

GoGo para Presidente!!!!

beyond emerging church

A few years back, I was given a book by a friend of mine called "Emerging Worship". At the time, I was leading one of the praise bands at my church and my friend thought it might have some ideas for me.

Little did he know the floodgates he opened.

Let me tell you where we were at the time. My wife and I were very involved at our "bapti-costal" church. We had been there for 10 years. We had led children's ministries for much of that time, had been home group leaders and taught at many seminars. I led a praise group and played with the other two as well, so virtually every time there was music, I was on stage. I was on the "vision team" at the church - re-imagining the way things should be done. My wife and I were on the leadership team as well.

For the first few years, we truly loved the "church culture" and being part of it. Though we were only lay-staff, we had invested our lives there. Our kids grew up there and all their friends were there. We were very comfortable.

Then, dude had to go give me this book. The first part of the book talked about the emerging church movement. There were some ideas that convicted me intensely. Was my church relevent to the community around it? Were we using our tithe to help widows and orphans or to build our own "kingdom"? Idea after idea hit me square in the jaw. I began to read other books and articles and blogs. The snowball was rolling now.

For the next year or so, I tried to talk with my pastor about the things that were in our hearts, but he never did really get it. He kept saying we must be burnt out or just too needy. After wrestling with God and church leadership for about a year, we left the church. We didn't know where we were going, we just knew that the first step on our journey was to get uncomfortable - to leave what we knew and begin to act on our convictions.

For four or five months, I took my family to other church services that were different from what we knew. We did an old-fashioned southern baptist church, an anglican church and more. They didn't enjoy this process at all. This is when I really understood just how comfortable we had become at our last church.

Through prayer and meetings with another couple, we decided to start a simple church in our homes. For the last four months or so, we've been meeting each Sunday and one evening during the week. Our kids are with us as we worship. We're rethinking everything - starting from scratch. We're "erasing the chalkboard" of our preconceived ideas and asking God to help us repopulate it with His mind and His priorities.

I still enjoy talking to "emergent" types, but honestly - it's beyond that now. The power of the emergent discussion is to give people confidence to seek God on their own - not to look at how this church or that group does things and to copy them. For us, a small group meeting in a home is how we choose to walk our faith. For others, it may be discovered in a traditional church setting. No doubt others will flock to the latest, trendy "emergent churches" with their stained-glass windows and modern-art edge.

I think the important thing is not the vehicle, but the heart. We needed to listen to what God whispered to us when I first read "Emerging Worship". We needed to hear "Hey, guys - you've forgotten what's important to me. Your programs or great, but what about the people? Not just the ones in the pews, but the ones who won't come here? The homeless or sick ones? The widows who have no money for tithe and can't travel here on Sunday mornings?" The emergent discussion gave a point to come to as we asked our questions, but for most it won't be the place they end up.

My prayer is that the "emerging" movement won't become the next hip thing to hit churches around the country. I pray that it isn't a point of division with traditional churches. I hope it will be a safe place where seekers (even mature Christian seekers) can come to and exchange ideas, rethink their paradigms and find a new excitement and focus on the role of Christians in our culture.